I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If that was your dad, he is hot
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize