Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
