Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
