i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
