I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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