I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
