You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
MIDGETS
????
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
