I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
