You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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