my vag is so smooth its legendary
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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