Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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