Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize