they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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