I'm drive I can fine osifer
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It's never too late to be topless.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
