Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
