If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
