I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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