Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm at about main and main street
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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