i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
