My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
