so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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