Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
