my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
