She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
