I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
