Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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