You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
