i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
