You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
