"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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