Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
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you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
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I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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