ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
