I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
wow bdsm is so cute
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
