Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
