If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
