I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
