i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
he had hair everywhere except his balls
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
