Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
