I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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