listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I cut my penus on the lid.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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