I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
