i barfeds in our rink
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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