Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
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I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
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I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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