I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize