dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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