sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
