need another drink. this is the easiest way
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
