four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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