I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
