she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
there was a trapeze. enough said
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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