My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i may or may not be watching the land before time
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
