i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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