Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
